Small Measure of Happiness!!!

I am in totally off mood at work today coz of some things which got flared up at my work for no mistake of mine.. But I wanted to take a break and other than writing who else would be my better friend in venting out.

Anyways coming to the topic, I took my lil munchkin to this incredibly, excellent, well cast & enacted show "Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf". Well of course, it is a classic and the original story essence ( thankfully with no remixes) was kept. My son completely loved it, I have taken him to a few theater shows before but this one gave a complete different experience to us. It was an hour show with no intermission and I was worried as how I was going to occupy him or how he is gonna be quiet for that entire hour. Of course, I did start the talking on Thursday so that he is completely into it by Saturday. The biggest thing was that they allowed food and drinks inside the theater and it was so interactive that all the children were hooked on to the show. Although the complete an hour session was Q& A for me but he did follow the rules of asking me in a low tune and not disturbing the other audience beside us.

I am so happy he liked it, coz a daughter of a " M A English Literature Graduate" ( that's how my hubby calls me when I try to show off my literature side) I was totally into all classics. My dad still has the original version of "Romeo and Juliet" ,"Macbeth", "Julius Caesar", "The Wizard of Oz". I grew up listening to those, reading those books. I wanted to introduce the small classics to my son like Hansel and Gretel, Goldilocks etc., Alice in Wonderland.

One fortunate thing for me was/is/ hope for the (Will -future state) my son loves reading books, be it comics, fairy tales, cartoons. I did start for him at an early age the introduction of books.Although I wanted to introduce classics at a very early age, somehow I gave up the idea after that thinking that it would be too much on him.I am glad that atleast I have the opportunity of introducing some of the literature drama to him through these theatres. I am not sure how its gonna develop in him as he grows, I just wish that he develops atleast a minute interest in the literature classics and develops a liking to the style and writing of some of the famous writers.

I did like the way they molded the story to suit the age group of kids by including songs, interaction, story telling and even the dialogues weren't pretty complicated. Simple words, sentences were used.I really wish we had similar kind of shows like these in my country too so that kids would be exposed to the theater arts at a very young age.

But I am going to be doing my bit of effort in making him like the theater arts by taking him to at least to a few shows every now and then so that even if he does not develop the interest in the later age at least he will remember that we did make an effort and we did take him to these famous classics and that feeling is more than accomplishment for me. So next show is "A VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR".. (fingers crossed) but as of now I am contended and Happy...

2 States

I recently saw this movie called " 2 States" based on the novel from Chetan Bhagat. I had read this novel but felt the movie was better than the novel in terms of bringing out the characters, feelings, emotions and the everything undergone when a marriage is decided  between 2 people.This movie did bring back a lot of memories.

In my land, for a marriage to happen, it doesn't just involve two people falling in love, it involves the parents, relatives, sometimes 2 different states falling in love with each other. I can completely co- relate to every single scene in the movie. Well , this is my story and I wanted to pen in it down in words today so that some day when I look back and read, or if my generation reads it, they should ve a smile on their face as to how they all came into existence.

I am from Tamilnadu( Southern state) in India, although my mother tongue is Telugu , we were settled in Chennai for some generations, I would call myself a Tamilian rather than a telugite until my parents started looking for proposals. Of course, hubby and I liked each other instantly and fell in love too. We both felt love was enough to get married but no, we realized it quite soon, when we took the next step to convince everyone for marriage. First, was my dad , he was completely against it coz hubby was from a different STATE and the culture, style , tradition everything was different from us. Then it was from the hubby's side, whether I could communicate with my MIL in her language... ( well I did put in a lot of effort and hard work after marriage, and now no one can tell the difference that I am from a different state)

Somehow, that issue was resolved, next thing was again my dad and he had his own inhibitions of getting me married to someone living abroad and whom he did not see in person and is going to see that special person only a few days before marriage.I should really appreciate one person's incredible help here. My hubby's brother-in-law and now my brother who gave that confidence to my dad that everything will be perfectly fine and I will be in safe hands.Next, was the issue from my side as everybody was curious to know as to how this marriage got fixed, they wanted to know the background about the groom's side, their property details and of course we successfully did manage everyone's expectations.

As stated in the movie and in the novel, on top of our parent's permission, we wanted them to be more happy in our marriage than us. I wanted my mom to have fun,enjoy and ve that contented feeling that her responsibility is passed on to someone and that her daughter is in safe hands.We did put in a lot of effort even in the minute things eg., the menu of the marriage , all the other minute details which we knew would be raised as issues and not once thought of going against them.

I am sure every marriage has a story associated with it, some emotional, some romantic,some problematic, some peaceful , some happy, some dramatic.Now when I look back and see our marriage photos and videos, it was indeed a marriage between 2 states,culture and tradition and when I look at all the smiles it was indeed worth all the effort!!!!

Adoption--- Life Changing Attitude

Wow... almost been a year since I visited my blog. Life has become so very hectic absolutely no time for anything.. with hubby's new interest and the lil dumpling growing up and plus my work, activities ... I need another 24 hours in a day to have time for my interest, hobbies...

Well.. that being said, I did watch this very interesting film "Vicky Donor" ( Hindi Feature Film) in the weekend and I liked the concept of the movie... very unique and well portrayed subject.It was about "Sperm Donation " and "Adoption" both are indeed very bold concept's well according to the Indian public and the message was very well conveyed..


"Adoption" ---- this has been "THE" word lingering since my college days.. I am big fan of Sushmitha Sen.. when she went all public about her adoption of a lil girl.. I was so impressed and wanted to follow her foot steps and I was not bothered about anything or anyone and I wanted to adopt a girl too... But as and when the life progressed, the idea of Adoption has never left me but the reality around it started increasing..

3 years back when I had my son, my hubby and I had this discussion that our next child would be a adopted one.. that was when I started exploring the opportunities, and the reality sinked in. At the same time there was a discussion about the very same topic in one of our girls groups and one of the girls actually brought out lot of good points.

The first which is the most important thing according to me, am I absolutely ready for this? it's someone's life, if I even show the slightest .0000000001% of difference to the child I wont be able to ever forgive myself after that.It's huge huge huge responsibility...I have few of my people in my friend's circle who have gone for adoption and I salute them for having done that.Hat's off...
 
The second one being, if I am going for adoption I have to go for the one from my native country the reason being I would want that child to get the same love, care, attention everything as my son ( this "My son" referring  has to completely change and I know it has to be a life changing attitude) and that child should actually feel that he/she is not different from us.

The third, am I mature enough or should I say bold enough to tell the child that I am not their biological mother and generous enough to allow the child to have a connection with the biological mother and accept that relationship too.. well I don't know....

 I know I have all the answers to all my questions, the only part is Am I ready enough to accept all the facts and am I strong enough to convince everyone about my decision ( I am sure the one person who would be on my side is my Hubby)and I can't be aggressive on this... well this has always been a debate in my mind. I wanted to get everything out of the system about this topic and writing has always been my friend in that area... But as of now, I have left everything to time, when the time comes I know everything will fall in place ( Hopefully ( Being completely optimistic)).

Changes -Part 2

I read  a very interesting article posted on my friends wall as how a girl changes to a woman and then to a mother gradually and a mother anticipating  the change which will happen in her daughter very soon. I would agree with every word in the article because as a  mom I undergo it every day in my life and today was no exception but with a little spice added to it. Adit was transitioning to 2's class ( of course he is a 2 year old) starting today. The transition is gonna be slow so it was just 2 hours today and a formal letter of transition was given to me and P ( hubby) last week and my tantrums started since I saw the letter.

I was like how is he gonna handle it? he is gonna miss his teachers in toddlers class? he is gonna get low,grumpy go into hibernation?.he is gonna miss his friends?blah blah blah... Well all these were my assumptions When I called his teacher today and asked her how did it go? She was like" He was fine, he was probably upset for a little time initially and he handled it well and he was happy being there" I was like that's it...I expected her to say some kind of dramatic thing or scene which happened over there.

My husband and his teachers always say I am one who is resisting the change and not Adit. To some extent I would agree with it but from a MOM perspective, I would not coz I would always want my son to be comfortable ,get the best out of everything and I saw him being comfortable with his teachers in the present class, hugging him, taking care of him so well. I know the 2's teacher is also as wonderful as the present ones.But as everyone says and I know I hate to admit this one fact but I had to that my son needs to grow and develop as per the age and he is no more a baby and I have to let him do that.

He is ready for the next stage and I know he is and maybe I am not so I ve to let him go and get adjusted to the change. Of course I did have a talk with him about this change, not sure how much he understood of what I said and meant but he sure did a good job today and made me proud.Well, I am sure this kind of rambling is gonna come from me every now and then as and when the changes occur to him until my son is old enough to say" Mama, please stop worrying about me, I am fine and I can take care of myself" but does it ever gonna stop?? nahhhh... well we all are called the "MOMs"and that breed never stops thinking about their kids.

Well as for today I am gonna get a good peaceful sleep in the night with a happy feeling that "All's WELL"

Milestone --- after 13 years...

This has always been my secret, only few people who are very close to me and know me in and out know about this incident. I never had the courage to share this unless a person comes into my close circle.I was scared that some might show pity or sympathy ( Which I cannot tolerate) on my weakness or they might even make fun of me. I am a highly sensitive person although I appear to be extremely mentally strong outside ( of course I did become one after this struggle) It is almost 13 years since this accident happened and it was when I was in my college. Yes, the big accident while I was going on a bike actually the accident was nothing but the after effect was bad. Completely lost my right knee, had to undergo a surgery which was supposed to be an hour but lasted more than 6-7 hours and the doctors were shocked to see the damage which was done in the knee. Everyone gave up on me except my mom and my doctor. There were comments whether I would ever walk again in my life.Tough phase. Everything around me seemed very difficult. Even to get a glass of water I had to depend on some one. The pain, mentally and physically, the guilt of being a burden to everyone killed me almost every day.But my doctor  always use to  say 1 thing and I remember that even today " Never Let anyone tell you that you cannot do something"

Well that being the past, I have always had that fear that I cannot be completely normal again..I cannot jump, hop, cycle.. well this was my thought, my fear .But this changed... Yesterday when I was at gym, my trainer completely removed my fear and she made me do all these things which I never thought I would do it ever in my life. She actually saw the fear in me, and she said if you walk, run and do everything as a normal person you could as well do these things and said its just mental courage and not to think about anything else and let go off the fear by saying" You are very strong than you think you are"( Thanks Carla!! I would have not done it without you).It might be very trivial to a lot of you... but as for me and the people who know about my surgery and accident would definitely join me in saying "its a Milestone" indeed and also to completely let go of the fear I had built up in all these years. It was as if Paulo Coelho Quotes was coming true " And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it" and the confidence, motivation and the inspiration you get after the achievement is incredible and cannot be put in words.

I had to build up courage to put all these in words and share it so that someone somewhere who reads it might let go off the inhibition of anything that had been building up for years and go ahead and venture it.

Going Organic!!

Organic...well this has been pending in my list for a long time, contemplating, confused between the pro's and con's. This all started as a casual conversation, turned into an argument  then a debate and finally concluded.I was talking to my colleague yesterday(Thanks Rich!!) during lunch about the healthy eating habits and healthy food. Organic food played a major role in the topic.I was always under the constant myth( Pardon my ignorance) that eating organic reduces the immunity in the body as it is not grown in the normal way as the other food items.But I was wrong, eating the inorganic stuff reduces the immunity coz Organic ones are grown in the natural way.Lot of benefits for Organic, toxic substances are reduced, more close to nature and last but not the least, it is the best way to protect the future generations.

I am aware that the change is not going to be as easy as it sounds.We have to think,breathe, speak, advocate organic in every possible thing in our lives.It's an entire life changing attitude.But if it's going to help us in the long run, why not make that change? It's a matter of time to adapt it.My husband and I also had the discussion about this later in the day, and we concluded that the benefits of being organic is something hard to ignore or put it off. So we are going Organic starting this weekend(Whole Foods, here I come)

I hope I stay on this decision and make the complete transition.. Wish me Luck!!

Next in action is going GREEN!!

Changes-- Inevitable part of life

Ah!! Its been pretty long time since I updated my blog. Lot of developments, my son is gonna be 2 this June. he has become a lot more independent in his activities , more into fun activities, developing friendships, stranger anxiety becoming completely negligible, socializing skills improving and all the good things that happen when you send your kid to a day care.

Well that being said, as a mom am I happy with it? Of course yes, but somehow somewhere I am unable to overcome the guilt, earlier I use to know before hand what my son wants and needs were, but now he asks and he is clear what he needs and what he wants. Well of course I am a working mother now, I have my job, responsibilities and a family to take care of.

I sometimes have this discussion with my mom, as whether I am doing the right thing for my son to leave him in someone's care, my mom says you have to let him go at some point in time in your life so let it be now. My question is "is it early to I let him go" I mean not in the literal sense but trying to make him independent. I know sometimes as a mom I over think and complicate things but I just wanted to let it out today.Maybe coz my mom was a working mother and I know the thinking of a kid practically since I underwent through it every day. I remember the times I use to miss my mom.So am I doing the same thing to my son, I get restless when I think about those things.But on the other hand, I would give all the credit to my mom to all her efforts to make me independent which framed my character and the outlook I have/had towards life.

This got intensified when I saw the Oprah's show on  Sex and the City Author (Candace Bushnell). She got married at the age of 41 to a really young guy and were happily married for 10 years until they decided to part ways.The one thing she said caught my attention quite a bit " A woman can have just one thing, either a good Career or a good family,". Well I disagree to that and times are changing a Woman can have both its all about managing the expectations and be truthful and accepting responsibility.

Maybe you could call these as the ramblings of a working mom.I am sure I would get a clarity on this some day and would be able to justify it to my kids when they question me in the future(which I hope not).