Changes -Part 2

I read  a very interesting article posted on my friends wall as how a girl changes to a woman and then to a mother gradually and a mother anticipating  the change which will happen in her daughter very soon. I would agree with every word in the article because as a  mom I undergo it every day in my life and today was no exception but with a little spice added to it. Adit was transitioning to 2's class ( of course he is a 2 year old) starting today. The transition is gonna be slow so it was just 2 hours today and a formal letter of transition was given to me and P ( hubby) last week and my tantrums started since I saw the letter.

I was like how is he gonna handle it? he is gonna miss his teachers in toddlers class? he is gonna get low,grumpy go into hibernation?.he is gonna miss his friends?blah blah blah... Well all these were my assumptions When I called his teacher today and asked her how did it go? She was like" He was fine, he was probably upset for a little time initially and he handled it well and he was happy being there" I was like that's it...I expected her to say some kind of dramatic thing or scene which happened over there.

My husband and his teachers always say I am one who is resisting the change and not Adit. To some extent I would agree with it but from a MOM perspective, I would not coz I would always want my son to be comfortable ,get the best out of everything and I saw him being comfortable with his teachers in the present class, hugging him, taking care of him so well. I know the 2's teacher is also as wonderful as the present ones.But as everyone says and I know I hate to admit this one fact but I had to that my son needs to grow and develop as per the age and he is no more a baby and I have to let him do that.

He is ready for the next stage and I know he is and maybe I am not so I ve to let him go and get adjusted to the change. Of course I did have a talk with him about this change, not sure how much he understood of what I said and meant but he sure did a good job today and made me proud.Well, I am sure this kind of rambling is gonna come from me every now and then as and when the changes occur to him until my son is old enough to say" Mama, please stop worrying about me, I am fine and I can take care of myself" but does it ever gonna stop?? nahhhh... well we all are called the "MOMs"and that breed never stops thinking about their kids.

Well as for today I am gonna get a good peaceful sleep in the night with a happy feeling that "All's WELL"

Milestone --- after 13 years...

This has always been my secret, only few people who are very close to me and know me in and out know about this incident. I never had the courage to share this unless a person comes into my close circle.I was scared that some might show pity or sympathy ( Which I cannot tolerate) on my weakness or they might even make fun of me. I am a highly sensitive person although I appear to be extremely mentally strong outside ( of course I did become one after this struggle) It is almost 13 years since this accident happened and it was when I was in my college. Yes, the big accident while I was going on a bike actually the accident was nothing but the after effect was bad. Completely lost my right knee, had to undergo a surgery which was supposed to be an hour but lasted more than 6-7 hours and the doctors were shocked to see the damage which was done in the knee. Everyone gave up on me except my mom and my doctor. There were comments whether I would ever walk again in my life.Tough phase. Everything around me seemed very difficult. Even to get a glass of water I had to depend on some one. The pain, mentally and physically, the guilt of being a burden to everyone killed me almost every day.But my doctor  always use to  say 1 thing and I remember that even today " Never Let anyone tell you that you cannot do something"

Well that being the past, I have always had that fear that I cannot be completely normal again..I cannot jump, hop, cycle.. well this was my thought, my fear .But this changed... Yesterday when I was at gym, my trainer completely removed my fear and she made me do all these things which I never thought I would do it ever in my life. She actually saw the fear in me, and she said if you walk, run and do everything as a normal person you could as well do these things and said its just mental courage and not to think about anything else and let go off the fear by saying" You are very strong than you think you are"( Thanks Carla!! I would have not done it without you).It might be very trivial to a lot of you... but as for me and the people who know about my surgery and accident would definitely join me in saying "its a Milestone" indeed and also to completely let go of the fear I had built up in all these years. It was as if Paulo Coelho Quotes was coming true " And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it" and the confidence, motivation and the inspiration you get after the achievement is incredible and cannot be put in words.

I had to build up courage to put all these in words and share it so that someone somewhere who reads it might let go off the inhibition of anything that had been building up for years and go ahead and venture it.

Going Organic!!

Organic...well this has been pending in my list for a long time, contemplating, confused between the pro's and con's. This all started as a casual conversation, turned into an argument  then a debate and finally concluded.I was talking to my colleague yesterday(Thanks Rich!!) during lunch about the healthy eating habits and healthy food. Organic food played a major role in the topic.I was always under the constant myth( Pardon my ignorance) that eating organic reduces the immunity in the body as it is not grown in the normal way as the other food items.But I was wrong, eating the inorganic stuff reduces the immunity coz Organic ones are grown in the natural way.Lot of benefits for Organic, toxic substances are reduced, more close to nature and last but not the least, it is the best way to protect the future generations.

I am aware that the change is not going to be as easy as it sounds.We have to think,breathe, speak, advocate organic in every possible thing in our lives.It's an entire life changing attitude.But if it's going to help us in the long run, why not make that change? It's a matter of time to adapt it.My husband and I also had the discussion about this later in the day, and we concluded that the benefits of being organic is something hard to ignore or put it off. So we are going Organic starting this weekend(Whole Foods, here I come)

I hope I stay on this decision and make the complete transition.. Wish me Luck!!

Next in action is going GREEN!!

Changes-- Inevitable part of life

Ah!! Its been pretty long time since I updated my blog. Lot of developments, my son is gonna be 2 this June. he has become a lot more independent in his activities , more into fun activities, developing friendships, stranger anxiety becoming completely negligible, socializing skills improving and all the good things that happen when you send your kid to a day care.

Well that being said, as a mom am I happy with it? Of course yes, but somehow somewhere I am unable to overcome the guilt, earlier I use to know before hand what my son wants and needs were, but now he asks and he is clear what he needs and what he wants. Well of course I am a working mother now, I have my job, responsibilities and a family to take care of.

I sometimes have this discussion with my mom, as whether I am doing the right thing for my son to leave him in someone's care, my mom says you have to let him go at some point in time in your life so let it be now. My question is "is it early to I let him go" I mean not in the literal sense but trying to make him independent. I know sometimes as a mom I over think and complicate things but I just wanted to let it out today.Maybe coz my mom was a working mother and I know the thinking of a kid practically since I underwent through it every day. I remember the times I use to miss my mom.So am I doing the same thing to my son, I get restless when I think about those things.But on the other hand, I would give all the credit to my mom to all her efforts to make me independent which framed my character and the outlook I have/had towards life.

This got intensified when I saw the Oprah's show on  Sex and the City Author (Candace Bushnell). She got married at the age of 41 to a really young guy and were happily married for 10 years until they decided to part ways.The one thing she said caught my attention quite a bit " A woman can have just one thing, either a good Career or a good family,". Well I disagree to that and times are changing a Woman can have both its all about managing the expectations and be truthful and accepting responsibility.

Maybe you could call these as the ramblings of a working mom.I am sure I would get a clarity on this some day and would be able to justify it to my kids when they question me in the future(which I hope not).

English Vinglish

I saw this movie yesterday, good movie , very well enacted and directed.This  movie brought back my UK memories although it has been 4 years since I left UK.I remember the first day I was damn scared, was travelling all alone to UK from India, left my job in India some kind of audacity in me, made me to take that decision and I do not regret it.Had it not been that decision, I would not be sharing the experience with you all.

The first day, the first experience is always the toughest and also always the most memorable one.. I dint even know how to get on and off of an escalator, was so scared, I use to take the steps or the elevator.It was very different, different people, culture, accent which was the most difficult part.I remember my friend literally pushing me on the the escalator, in central London.London was very different compared to what had been told to me,it was very fast paced, technologically advanced. I was scared and also awed by the advancement.The first day on the tube to my friends place, I was all alone and was not sure whether I was on the right track.So many trains, so many lines, so many colors ,different colors for different routes, gosh it was terrifying and how I prayed that I should reach her place safely.

Coming to the mannerisms, they even use the fork and knife to eat a burger, even the Thai food which contains rice.It was so embarrassing for a person like me  who dint even know which hand was used for which cutlery.I use to practice it at home during the weekend, browse videos coz I was employed in a very big company and I had to maintain the etiquette. There were many days where I had wished to India.But as days passed, London became very close to my heart, it became my second home when I started to respect their culture,embrace some of their traditions,imbibe their way of life.

Also, I had the excellent company of friends around me who supported me in everything, understood my situation and helped me in every possible way.The day we went around the entire central London with just 20 pounds in our pocket ,enjoying the pizza slices, weather.We even talked that we don money or pomp or show to enjoy any place, guess its the company or the circle of friends around you make it more memorable.

Maybe thats y I like Chicago, its more like London, or it might be coz  I have found with the same wavelength as mine which makes it all the more memorable.Sometimes when I go in cab here in Chicago and have a small talk with the driver and when they ask whether I am from UK since my accent is different, I feel so happy about that and just go back to my memories from UK.

 It  is coz it was my first experience to the western world, and had to learn everything by myself, whether it was right or wrong, I had to face it on my own and it was a experience of a lifetime which tuned me to be a better person and also it was one of the best times of my life which will be treasured throughout.

STEVE JOBS!!!

I recently brought back my habit of reading books... I had this habit till I started working, then came the busy n mechanical routine of life, work. pressure, stress, career,family, child.. Recently my husband pushed me into my habit again of reading books.. Well.. thanks to him!!.I started with Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson... it was not the typical kind of biography I had expected where in the good qualities of the person would be portrayed, how good and ideal his/her life was! maybe that's why they write about a person so that others can learn how to deal with difficult situations when encountered.This was completely different.I learnt how not lead a life like Jobs and this is entirely my perspective.

Jobs was an aggressive,adamant, sharp tongued person and had a renegade attitude!!He was ambitious but at the same time as the author often uses it "petulant and impetuous" person.Maybe I had imagined Jobs to be that ideal person as others who were successful during that period.This was my initial reaction for the intial part of the book.. As I was progressing, I felt all these qualities emerged just from one single quality: PASSION.. he was so passionate about what he was doing that he failed to realize all the other things emerging from it!!

This book had a lot of impact on me, it all rolls back to Jobs childhood, where he was abandoned by his own mom n dad and he was adopted by his parents, this feeling of abandonment grew intense in him and he was always scared of being left out in everything he did, that he had to work harder to prove his recognition!!

Indeed I was impressed by his attitude to share everything good and bad in the book so that everyone would know and understand the reason for his attitude, behavior and his way of life.

In spite of everything, he still stands out to be the person who (was, is and will always ) brought a turning point in the advancement of technology and a true perfectionist!!!

Excellent book to read, loads of insights!! Well Written!! I would say MUST READ!!

Avva!!

Avva, yes that's how I call my grand mom.. She passed away today and reached the eternal state. I did not see her for the past 2 years well it has been 2 years since I visited India.Yesterday when my mom told me the news that my avva is serious, a kind of pinch, guilt and I just burst out crying immediately. I know no one stays in this world forever.But the sudden kind of absence was difficult to sink in.I am gonna miss her terribly.She was always with us. She was the bond between my dad and his brothers.I remember the days when all of us cousins used to meet during the summer holidays she use to make all of us sit together   and give us lunch.The food use to be extraordinarily tasty when she use to feed us.I remember the arguments turning into big fights( for the rebellious nature of mine) I use to have for all the traditions she use to impose on us and she use to go crazy as she did not know the reason behind it.I always wanted to have a good time with her but somehow something use to crop up and it used to go in the opposite direction.It all changed when I got married and when I was pregnant. I have heard from my uncle's that she used to talk more about me, how am I gonna mange without any help and how badly she wanted to see Adit.I wanted her to see Adit, her great grand son and whenever I use to talk to her she use to ask about him.This time when I visit India, its gonna be very different without her in my place, I cannot imagine a house without her.Adit was hugging me constantly today and kissing me maybe he understood that I was in pain.Some things cannot be explained and it has to be felt and maybe that's why it  is called as Blood Relation.But wherever you are avva, I will terribly miss u, I just want to say I love u loads and may your soul rest in peace!!! Love u Avva!!!